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Mon Dec 01 2008
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Columns
Molly Ivins
Texas? Mercy? Athur Andersen.
March 19, 2002
, Texas -- Gee, what a shame about Arthur Andersen. And
it's going to make such a big mess, too. But wouldn't you like to hear the
arguments being made in defense of Andersen put forward in a Texas
courtroom, just to see what would happen?
"Your honor, members of the jury, it is true that my client
Arthur Dwayne Andersen (it's practically mandatory to have the middle name
Dwayne if you're going to prison in Texas) is guilty of theft by malpractice
in this Enron deal. He cut a few corners and bent a few rules. And then he
burned up all the office records to cover it up.
"On the other hand, your honor, my client is the sole support of
five children, and his wife is diabetic and asthmatic. So that's six lives
of innocent people that will be ruined if we send this man to prison, not to
mention that it will cost the taxpayers $20,000 a year to keep him there,
plus the $15.25 a week to keep each of those kids on welfare as long as he's
inside. (And let me add, your honor, that it makes perfect sense to spend
$20,000 a year to keep a man in prison doing dick while we spend exactly
$15.25 a week to give a child a fair start in life).
"Now it's true ol' Arthur Dwayne here has a couple of priors.
But that Waste Management thing is real old news. And the Colonial Realty
problem, the Sunbeam Corp. disaster and the truly unfortunate affair of the
Baptist Foundation were just temporary aberrations. My client deserves
another chance, your honor. Arthur Dwayne has learned his lesson this time
and will never, ever steal again, and besides, he's real sorry now. I ask
for a suspended sentence on grounds of the terrible harm this will do to all
of Arthur Dwayne's extended family."
Think it will fly? I am the last person to argue that one more
injustice will somehow make sense out of a "justice system" that is so often
perverse. But I live in a state that did not even think Andrea Yates'
slightly noticeable insanity worth consideration. The state of Texas thought
it necessary to "make an example" out of her, which is bound to have a
deterrent effect on all the other hopeless psychotics.
Yates' life sentence was widely reported as "an act of mercy."
If life in a Texas pen is merciful, Jesse Helms is a commie. For a truly
unusual example of reason and mercy in action, check out what the state of
Texas does to its mentally ill prisoners -- makes a snakepit look like
paradise. I've got more people to feel sorry for than Arthur Dwayne.
Especially the 27,000 people in danger of losing their jobs because someone
else "made a mistake."
Looking for someone to blame? The Corporate Crime Reporter
found this advice in a law review article: "Corporate counsel must take
every available opportunity to imbue company executives with the
understanding that their documents will take on separate lives when they
enter the treadmill of litigation. ... Ask executives and employees to
imagine all their documents in the hands of a zealous regulator or on the
front page of The New York Times. ... Each company should have a system of
determining the retention and destruction of documents. Obviously, once a
subpoena has been issued, or is about to be issued, any existing document
destruction policies should be brought to an immediate halt."
Except for that "about to be issued" part, Arthur Andersen did
precisely that. The advice comes from Harvey Pitt, then a star defense
lawyer for the accounting industry, now chairman of the Securities and
Exchange Commission.
Robert Bartley made a truly perverse argument in The Wall Street
journal about other cases in which professionals who have "made mistakes" --
from pedophile priests to plagiarizing historians -- do not appear to have
paid much of a price. He could have made a much stronger argument for
Andersen by pointing out the innumerable cases in which other corporate
crime has gotten a caress on the wrist. Instead, he chose to argue that,
"Businessmen may be ahead of the rest in accountability," one of the
silliest sentences I have ever read. Followed in silliness by his
observation, "As a society we seem increasingly incapable of sitting in
judgment of each other."
If so, why are there 2 million Americans in prison? The United
States has the highest rate of incarceration in the world, 700 per 100,000
citizens. According to the Sentencing Project in Washington, D.C., in Canada
and European countries, the rate ranges from 80 to 121 per 100,000. To
anyone but a Wall Street Journal editor, the obvious question would be, why
do the rich get away with stealing millions while the poor go to prison for
stealing TVs?
To find out more about Molly Ivins and read features by other
Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web
page at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2002 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.
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Don't forget to check out articles from 2007 and 2008 
Molly Ivins
"What the hell will they do to us next?" December 26, 2002
"Feed the hungry" December 24, 2002
"Book Recommendations" December 19, 2002
"New Bush Team" December 13, 2002
"The old war criminal" December 10, 2002
"Justice" November 28, 2002
"Total Information Awareness" November 21, 2002
"Blast from the past" November 19, 2002
"Rehnquist in hot water" November 12, 2002
"Electoral defeat" November 7, 2002
"Reforming the accounting industry" November 5, 2002
"New records for chutzpah daily" October 31, 2002
"Wellstone Memorial" October 29, 2002
"Texas two-step" October 24, 2002
"Anti-women decisions" October 22, 2002
"Stomach ailments" October 17, 2002
"Bad Manners" October 15, 2002
"Multi-causational" October 10, 2002
"Sick, sad tidings" October 8, 2002
"After action reviews" October 3, 2002
"The far, far left" October 1, 2002
"Capitalism" September 26, 2002
"Iraq agrees" September 18, 2002
"Billie Carr" September 17, 2002
"The Millionaire Protection Agreement" September 12, 2002
"Write Off" September 10, 2002
"Saber rattling" September 5, 2002
"Saddam and the Dick" September 4, 2002
"Kickbacks and Iraq" August 29, 2002
"Hypocrisy" August 27, 2002
"Hawks and Doves" August 22, 2002
"More Problems - Enron and the government" August 20, 2002
"By how much don't they get it?" August 15, 2002
"A perfectly glorious political year in Texas" August 6, 2002
"Reforming Corporate America" July 25, 2002
"WorldCom" July 24, 2002
"Take your "we" and shove it." July 18, 2002
"Corporate Malfesance" July 11, 2002
"Peace is better than war" June 25, 2002
"Democrats in Texas" June 18, 2002
"Texas state Republican convention" June 12, 2002
"Speak the vocabulary of consumer protection" June 12, 2002
"Connect the dots" June 6, 2002
"Cheney-Halliburton connection" June 6, 2002
"Global Warming" June 4, 2002
"I told you so" May 30, 2002
"Is there anybody in this business who is not a crook?" May 21, 2002
"How inept can he get?" May 16, 2002
"Murders in Mexico" May 16, 2002
"Loss of the womanly qualities" May 9, 2002
"A Flying Fig" May 9, 2002
"Terrorism and Israel" May 2, 2002
"The Bushies" April 30, 2002
"Border Law and an Alcoholic Goat" April 24, 2002
"More News and Commentary" April 21, 2002
"Tax Code Woes" April 15, 2002
"Where are the Democrats?" April 15, 2002
"Going downhill" April 9, 2002
"One Giant Texas" April 4, 2002
"Health Care Stupidity" March 26, 2002
"Marching Backwards" March 21, 2002
"Texas? Mercy? Athur Andersen." March 19, 2002
"Celebrity Boxing " March 14, 2002
"Dr. Strangelove" March 12, 2002
"Splendid Primary Season" March 5, 2002
"The Invisible Government" March 3, 2002
"Another Bad Idea" February 28, 2002
"A Thoroughly Bad Idea" February 20, 2002
"Some Megatrend" February 20, 2002
"Contemporary campaign finance reform" February 14, 2002
"Taxes, Inequality and Corporations" February 12, 2002
"Problems and Political Donations" February 7, 2002
"Internal Contradictions" February 6, 2002
"The Government and Business" January 31, 2002
"Enron, Enron, Enron" January 29, 2002
"Prisoners and World Trade" January 24, 2002
"Examining Welfare and Government Spending" January 15, 2002
"Mental Issues" January 10, 2002
"Gray, the Budget, and Economic Stimulus " January 8, 2002
"A New Season" January 3, 2002
"What do you do when the money leaves?" January 2, 2002
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